The Unwitting Prostitute

Hay, girl, hay! It's me, Sprinkles! I bet you didn't recognize me without all my makeup on, did you? I been tryin real hard not to wear so much, apparently it's bad for your skin, and guuuuuurl you know how I like my skin to be porcelain smooth. N-E-waiz, so a lot has happened since last time you seen me. I got that surgery I was telling you about, so now we can go to the restroom together and braid each other's hair and gossip about how much men are pigs! Well, you can braid my wig cause my hair hasn't grown too much - guess I need to start doubling up on my estrogen meds.

I'm so happy to finally be rid of that awful thing between my legs, it was just in the way of who I really am and now I can be F-A-B-olous! I haven't been able to get much steady work lately since I went through surgery. People keep telling me I'm not qualified for the positions I apply for, but guuurl you know I'm qualified every position there is. You know what I mean. Teehee, I'm nasty! So since I can't get a good steady job, I just been hanging out with these super nice girls down around the train depot. We get together each night, dressed up all sexy and what not, and stand down there talking and drinking out of paper bags. Every so often a car will pull up and talk to us. Sometimes one of the other girls gets in the car and drives off, but they always come back after a couple hours. CeeCee is always getting into cars, she really likes these cars I guess cause when she comes back, she's always out of breath and looks really happy. I guess the guy lets her drive the car around really fast or something.

I've never been asked to get in a car and go drive it for someone, maybe I need to change my makeup or shave my beard off or something.

N-E-waiz, I guess I better get going. I gotta meet CeeCee, DeeDee, and Kitten in a little while. Hope to catch up with you again soon. Oh! We should totally do lunch next week! Like I said, I don't have much money but I know a killer soup kitchen down by the Episcopal church on Ninth Street that always gives out double portions. I'll call you!

Hey! Why are you running away? I need your phone number!!! Guuuuuuuurl, come back! How are we supposed to be besties if you always run away from me! Okay, well I'll find you!

(whispers) I always find you...