I guess if you're gonna help me, you need to know a little bit about me and my family. Well, first off, we all share the nickname, 'X'. And there is ten of us in the family, so you can see how's it would get confusing, especially when someone calls over to the house and asks for 'X'. We have to put all ten of us on the phone, in turn, until they figure out which one it is they want to talk to. And I mean, we all have different names and different circles of friends so I don't know how we all ended up with the same nickname.
So, anyway, we all live in a fairly nice trailer park together, just south of Mobile, Alabama. My dad, Malcolm, is a highly successful lawn and garden structural engineer, he specializes in topiaries that bear a striking resemblance to dear old number 3, Dale Earnhardt. Dad is very popular around the trailer parks for that. My mom, Anne, she used to be a cafeteria lady at the elementary school until what we like to refer to as "the incident." See, she was making chili for the lunch meal one day a few years back - y'know, chopping up the hamburger meat and mixing the tomato base and what all. And the night before, we had been down to the Shrimp Shanty, it's a real great place to get some almost fresh seafood on the cheap.
Anyway, we went to the Shrimp Shanty and momma had ordered her like four dozen raw oysters, well they didn't sit too well in her stomach or maybe they had already turned, they did have a sort of pungent stench about 'em. And well, they came at her with a vengeance that you only ever really see in horror movies. So, as she was making the chili, her stomach turnt on her and she couldn't make it to the restroom. And that's how come momma got fired from the school.
And now, my siblings, there really ain't much to tell on them for, exceptin' that momma and dad had a tendency to pick some really odd names for us kids. In order, we have my sister, Carm, she's a stripper to the Spearmint Rhino. My brother, Pan, he's a diesel mechanic's apprentice's gopher, part time, and he works down the Piggly Wiggly most nights, restocking the femineminem hygenical products on aisle 5. My other brother, Tripple, he's a log jammer down the Mississippi when the season's right. My third brother, Mann, well, he's currently out of work due to an unforseen accident involving a forklift, three underage girls, a nail gun, and some vodka. Then there's me, my name is Skrill, and I'm a local DJ on the AM radio station. I have a prime time slot from 3:15AM to 3:37AM where I get to play my one song for the day, provided it's not and electronica, dnb, or dubstep, which sucks cause that's all the music I like to listen to.
And then there's my three kid sisters, they is triplets. Momma and daddy didn't want no more kids, but they figured what the heck, one more won't hurt and then came the three sirens. My kid sisters are, Gen, Tru, and Rain. All three of them are still young enough to be in school, and are part of the reason that our brother, Mann, is currently unemployed. Don't judge.
So anyway, that's my family, and I just can't figure out why all of us are called by the same nickname. It doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, our names don't really seem like they are all that close together so as we should even have to share a nickname. Like, I have a friend and him and his brother use the same nickname but I can understand that one since they used to be conjoined twins. You uh, you wanna know where they were joined at? Oh, man, it's hilarious! They was joined at the butt! And not like they had three butt cheeks and shared the middle, no, no, no. They both have two butt cheeks, but they were fused to each other! They were born back to back with their cracks together. I've seen pictures, it was hilarious. And the best part is, they didn't get to get taken apart until they were four years old! I can't imagine what that was like, trying to take a dump...I wonder if they butts got synchronized like what girls do with their lady times.
Anyway, I better jet, I got things to do. Still wish I knew how come my family all has the same nickname....effin' weird!
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